I have a chemistry test tomorrow morning. I was terrified for it because I had no idea what was going on at all in this chapter... no matter how many times I looked at the notes to figure it out it didnt make sense. Then tonight, boom. Everything started to click together. Considering I didn't even look at half of the material until tonight and I still managed to get an A on the practice test... I dare say I am pretty proud. That and I am now confident for the test tomorrow. YAY!
But.. while I was studying for my test... a commercial started playing on the TV in the other room... and that song was playing in it. I pretty much siezed up. I'm trying my best not to listen to that song, and not to react to anything so that I can get over everything faster. So hearing the song play unexpectedly really didn't help. AT. ALL. I tried to focus on my homework, but five minutes later I couldn't take it anymore... and I started crying to my mom. again.
I'm so done with this.
I'm done with trying to seem like I'm perfectly fine all of the time so that anyone who is going to judge me won't have any reason to.
I'm done with constantly trying to improve my flaws so that maybe whatever happened this time wont happen again in the future.
I'm done with constantly getting my hopes up... only to have everything come crashing down on me.
I'm done with investing so much into things that obviously mean absolutely nothing to everyone else.
I'm done with people.
Honestly, I couldn't be any more frustrated with my life right now... constantly maintaining my composure like I am now, is one of the most difficult things I have had to do. I don't wish this on anyone.
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